No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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