Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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