How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
