i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize