I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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