already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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