Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
