I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
Randomize
