hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
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