Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
i think i just lost a toe
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
