so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
