Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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