it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
Randomize
