Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
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