Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
