Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Randomize
