OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Randomize
