yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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