just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
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