That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Randomize