if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
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