I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
