Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize
