your parents love me but you hate me
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize