Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
As shirtless as possible
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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