We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
and she was petting her beer can
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
he just fucked me for my cheese.
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