This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Randomize
