remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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