I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
Randomize
