I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Randomize
