You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
