i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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