so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
