11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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