even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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