I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Randomize
