high people should be assigned attendants
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
Randomize
