Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
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