Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
