She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
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