so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
They are going to name an STD after you.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Randomize
