Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Randomize
