ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
