That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
Randomize
