I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize