Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Randomize
