Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
