We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
