Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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