You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
