it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
Randomize
