the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
