My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
