Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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