he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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