he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Randomize
