I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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