"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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