He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Jerry, you need to find god
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Randomize
