i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize