I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
This girl is more easily done than said...
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Randomize
