I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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